A Story of the Adaptability of Immigrant Parents

Nobody is truly wrong, and nobody is completely right.  

It all depends on how we see things and the perspective we hold.  

What seems bad to one person might seem good to another.

Rita's journey is a testament to the strength and adaptability of immigrants. Her story highlights the challenges of embracing a new culture while balancing the values of her upbringing. Rita’s life took a dramatic turn when she moved to America with her husband, Rohan, leaving behind her conservative Hindu Brahmin roots. This transition was not just geographical; it was emotional and cultural, as she had to navigate a completely different way of life.

From the beginning, Rita faced hurdles. Learning a new language and adapting to American customs were daunting tasks, but she tackled them with determination. When their daughter Kavya was born, Rita poured her energy into raising her in a way that would give her opportunities Rita herself never had. She wanted Kavya to thrive in this new environment, even if it meant questioning her own deeply ingrained beliefs.

One day, as Kavya sat at the dining table scrolling through her notes, Rita asked warmly, “Beta Kavya, how are your studies going?” Kavya hesitated and replied, “Mom, it’s okay… but I got a B in my physics midterm.” Rita felt a pang of concern but kept her tone gentle. “Beta, would you like me to find a tutor for you? I want to help if you’re struggling.” Kavya shook her head firmly. “No, Mom, I can manage. Please don’t worry so much about my grades.”

Rita nodded but couldn’t resist asking, “Beta Kavya, how did the other students do?” Kavya frowned and shot back, “Mom, why does that matter? Why do you always care about what others are doing?” Rita immediately apologized. “I’m sorry, beta. I won’t ask that again.”

As Kavya walked away, Rita reflected deeply. Her own parents had always compared her to others and criticized her for not meeting their expectations. She vowed not to repeat those mistakes with her daughter. “I need to change,” she thought. “I want Kavya to feel supported, not judged.”

A few days later, Kavya approached Rita with excitement. “Mom, my friends are going to the movie theater this weekend. Can I join them?” Rita hesitated, her protective instincts kicking in. “Beta, you’re still in high school. I don’t feel comfortable letting you go alone. Maybe I can join you?” Kavya groaned in frustration. “Mom! Please treat me like an adult. It’ll be so embarrassing if you come along!” Rita sighed and replied softly, “Okay, beta. You can go with your friends. Just promise me you’ll stay safe and be aware of your surroundings.”

As Kavya left for the theater, Rita sat alone with her thoughts. Her parents had never allowed her to go anywhere with friends unless it was strictly related to school or college. But this was America, a different place and a different time. She realized she needed to trust Kavya’s decisions and give her the freedom she never had.

Years passed, and Kavya went off to college. One day, she called home with news that left Rita speechless. “Mom,” Kavya began hesitantly, “I have a boyfriend.” Rita smiled at first, but froze when Kavya added, “His name is David and he’s Jewish.”

Rita’s heart raced as she processed the information. She had always envisioned Kavya marrying someone Indian, someone who shared their culture and traditions. Trying to mask her shock, she asked cautiously, “Beta… how will you adjust? He’s from a different culture.” Kavya’s voice grew sharp. “Mom! Why does that matter? Are you saying it’s wrong for me to date someone who isn’t Indian?”

Rita felt a wave of guilt wash over her. “I’m sorry, beta,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just worry about how different things might be for you two.” Kavya replied firmly, “Mom, that’s my problem, not yours.”

After the call ended, Rita sat in silence, grappling with her emotions. Her own marriage had been arranged by her parents; she hadn’t been allowed to choose her husband. Now she was faced with the reality that her daughter was forging her own path, one that diverged from everything Rita had been taught growing up.

“How will I face my relatives back in India?” Rita wondered aloud. She knew they would judge her for allowing Kavya to date outside their community. But then she thought about Kavya’s happiness and realized something important: “I have to let go of what others think. My daughter’s happiness matters more than their opinions.”

Over time, Rita began making small but significant changes in her parenting style. She learned to listen without judgment and support Kavya’s choices, even when they conflicted with her own upbringing. It wasn’t easy; there were moments of doubt and fear. But Rita reminded herself that parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about love and adaptability.

Through these experiences, Rita discovered a delicate balance between her Indian roots and the American culture she now called home. She realized that being an immigrant wasn’t just about adapting externally; it was also about evolving internally.

Rita’s journey is one of growth and resilience, a reminder that love transcends cultural boundaries and that parenting is an ever-changing process of learning and unlearning. Her story shines a light on the incredible adaptability of migrants and immigrants who navigate two worlds while striving to create better lives for their families.

Rita found peace in knowing she had done everything she could to support Kavya’s happiness and independence. And as she watched her daughter grow into a confident young woman, Rita felt proud, not just of Kavya but also of herself for embracing change and breaking free from the constraints of tradition.

Indeed, migrants like Rita are some of the most adaptable people on Earth, capable of transforming challenges into opportunities and finding strength in the face of uncertainty.